Beating Relationship Boredom

Does your relationship seem to have gone a little flat lately? In the early stages of love, there is plenty of enthusiasm. You can’t get enough of your partner’s presence. You hang on his / her every word.

Everything he or she does is fascinating, unique, mesmerizing.

But ever so subtly, the air can go out of a relationship. Your partner’s company starts to feel stale. His or her words sound a little more vapid. And everything he or she does is dull, predictable, disappointing.

You spend too much time together for your partner to retain his/her mystery. You are now aware of his/her defects, as well as his/her charms. here are some ways to put some of the “pop” back in your relationship.

How long has it been since you and your partner really talked? Not the dreaded “You did something wrong” conversation or the obligatory “How was your day?” conversation but the “I’m really interested in knowing you better and hearing your thoughts on ______” conversation. No matter how many years you’ve been together, there’s always something new to learn from (or about) your partner.

Changing your location can also help change your outlook. Many couples feel closest when they travel — without the usual distractions, they can focus wholly on each other. Sure, it’s a form of escapism. But the memories you create are very real and can leave a lasting positive impact on your relationship. Vacations don’t have to be lavish to be beneficial — even a camping excursion and or daytrip to a nearby city can help get you out of a relationship rut.

Tired of the same old scene … the same friends, the same restaurants, the same activities? Get out and explore other subcultures, right in your area. Check out a roller-derby, a cultural festival, or even a monster truck show — anything novel can give you and your partner something new to talk about.

Don’t get too entrenched in your daily routines. Try surprising your partner with an impromptu lunch or a candlelight dinner (instead of eating in front of the TV). Take a day off work to simply spend time with your partner. Especially if you are a creature of habit (and your partner is more spontaneous), he or she will appreciate you mixing it up a bit.

Find something that both you and your partner enjoy doing — skiing, biking, bowling, etc. — and do it often. In particular, anything that gets you moving can help shake off apathy and increase your sense of well-being.

Your partner is more than just a pretty face — interacting with him/her on an intellectual level can help keep your interest. Read a book together and discuss what you’ve read. If reading isn’t your thing, try visiting a museum or watching a documentary together. There’s something for everyone, whether you are into science, art, history, music, etc.

Doing good for others makes us feel good. And doing good alongside your partner can make you feel better about your relationship. Find a charitable cause both you and your partner believe in, whether it is planting trees, serving food at a homeless shelter or constructing homes for low-income families. Showing kindness to others can bring you closer together as a couple.

Look for common ground with your partner when it comes to comedic tastes. Whether it is slapstick, dry wit or parody, pick movies and entertainment that leave you both in stitches. Humor provides an important emotional outlet and can brighten your outlook on life and love.

Encourage your partner’s personal growth, whether in terms of education, spirituality, career, etc. Do the same for yourself. If your relationship feels stagnant, if may be (at least in part) because one or both of you haven’t been investing much energy lately into personal development. Don’t just expect your partner to be a fascinating person — be a fascinating person.